Let me set the scene: It’s 9:47 PM. I just shut my laptop after a work call that ran an hour late. My son fell asleep waiting for me to read him a chapter of his favorite book. His bookmark hasn’t moved since Tuesday.
Cue the guilt.
Dad guilt hits different. It’s not just the moments we miss—it’s the pressure we put on ourselves to be everything, all the time. The coach. The chef. The therapist. The provider. And, sometimes, the guy who remembers where the left soccer cleat went.
Some days, I nail it. I make breakfast, drop the kids off, tackle meetings, cook dinner, and somehow even remember it’s Crazy Hair Day. Other days, I’m scrambling through guilt and Goldfish crumbs wondering if I’m doing any of it right.
Why Guilt Happens—and What I’m Learning
I used to think guilt meant I was failing. Now I’m starting to see it differently. Guilt is often a sign that I care. That I want to show up. That I’m trying, even when the effort feels invisible.
But here’s the shift: I’m learning that presence beats perfection. My kids don’t need me to do it all—they just need me to show up fully, even if it’s only for 15 minutes before bedtime.
That’s where I’m putting my energy now.
A Few Mindset Shifts That Help
- I stopped comparing myself to the “Super Dads” on Instagram. Most of them have help, edits, or just different lives.
- I started apologizing honestly. “I missed our story time, and I’m sorry. Can we read two chapters tomorrow?”
- I began celebrating the small wins. Packed lunches? Win. A full bedtime routine without yelling? Win. Laughed together at dinner? Big win.
What I’m Holding Onto
The version of me that tries, fails, laughs, grows, and keeps coming back—that’s the dad my kids will remember. And that’s more than enough.
For more honest reflections on showing up, even when it’s hard, I loved reading The Dad Diaries: Raising the Bar (and the Kids) at Home on BeAKid. It reminded me that we’re not alone—and that raising great kids starts with raising our own expectations of what “good enough” really means.
